Shapes and Colors - A Dad Chronicle
So being new to this dad thing I tend to spend an inordinate amount of time on Google. Yes I'm one of those people. It's the fastest way to find out normalcies. Forums for parents are a life saver. I remember holding Jovi in the NiCU. She was looking everywhere! Left, right, up and down, any place there was movement she was looking. It was hilarious and uber cute but I remember for a moment thinking "hey kiddo... I'm right here in front of you. Look at me"
I wasn't hurt. I'm not that delicate. I mean she's a baby. I can't be mad at this beautiful being who is experiencing everything for the first time. Including seeing. ---that by itself is just crazy---
But after a few more instances of holding her and seeing her look everywhere but me I started wondering "Is this normal?"
So to google I go...
Those who do know this interesting tidbit please forgive my explanation. You're more than welcome to meet us up at the next paragraph. So Google tells me. A newborn's vision isn't fully developed at birth. For a newborn the world around them is just shapes and colors. A babies clearest vision is around 10 inches in front of their face. Outside of that, things get blurry.
This information caught me.
Ok we all back together? Good. So the 10 inches thing got me thinking I needed to reapproach my interaction with the girls. Specifically Jovi since she loves to look everywhere.
The next time I was in the NiCU I purposed myself to hold Jovi within this "focus zone". The result was laughable. She was looking all over the place until I drew her in and once we were close enough her eyes locked in to place and she was on me. I could see her eyes studying my features. Working out the clearly defined lines and shapes and colors of my face, all in High Definition. And you know what else? Once I brought her in, I was her world and everything became ok. She settled down. She became content.
At that point the ambiguous shapely blurs around her were no longer there. Instead there was a face.
And it was engaging her because of how close we were. Of how close we had to be.
Here's another one where I'm sure you are able to read between the lines. It's almost painfully obvious. But before we talk about what's out in front, there's something to take away from this that isn't fully obvious.
Getting Jovi to see clearly took me to bring her close. She couldn't do it herself. I did the drawing, she did the focusing. I can see her clearly from anywhere within eyeshot. My eyes are on her always but in order for her to focus clearly on me she had to be close and being a newborn she has no ability on her own to get close to me. It's me drawing her close. Sure, as she grows older there will be times when she sees me from far off and comes running for me to pick her up and bring her in close.
But that time isn't here yet.
Now is the time for me to initiate the closeness.
So let's bring God into this equation. We'll start with the obvious. The closer we get to God, the clearer his face becomes, the more distractions fade into the background. We become settled. We become content. But for this to happen our life of closeness with God has to be an intimate one. A personal bubble-breaking one.
A 10 inches close kind of life.
Let's face it; life, for me, can become a blur of shapes and colors. What with work, being a dad, husband, friend, colleague and more it becomes difficult to have a clear focus at times. It's difficult, because of all that's going on, to be an initiator when it comes to being close with God. So God, knowing what's necessary, will often instigate the closeness himself. Because I can't. Not because I won't. I'm sure you understand about best intentions and how often those get shifted to the back of the line. God doesn't get mad at us any more than I get mad at Jovi for looking around. She's new to this life thing and focusing is hard for her.
But the focusing is is important. It builds trust. A sense of safety. Security. Love. What's important too is the drawing in and understanding the roles as drawer and focuser.
Because I am meant to focus and God is meant to realign that focus by drawing us into himself.
Just like Jovi looking around, there's always shapes and colors are everywhere. They're fun to look at but there's no distinction. No reference.
Shapes and colors have a deeper meaning.
And that deeper meaning, for her, required getting pulled closer by her dad.
So, like Jovi, let us be pulled in closer by our Father and allow the shapes and colors focus in to the one and only face of God.